Defining My Own Self
We spent last weekend in Roosevelt, where I grew up, and where my family still lives. For example, my brother lives there. He can live there and enjoy it, because he is a cool person. He was cool in high school. He was cool growing up. He has this aura of coolness about him, bestowed upon him by the Rooseveltians. Thus, he can live in Roosevelt his whole life and be the person he wishes to be – because of his coolness, the Rooseveltians have granted him this right.
So, we went there to visit. It was a good visit. My brother has a pretty awesome home theater in his house, because he is coolness. So I took my Queensrÿche Operation:Livecrime DVD with me on the trip, and we rocked that puppy. Yeah, that was very much how I remember it, having experienced it myself during the Promised Land tour in 1995, I think, which was my first ever concert, and basically spoiled me for life. It seems to me that they played Mindcrime all the way through start to finish and it was beyond incredible.
So now, I have the DVD, and I can experience a watered-down version of it myself, on my low-def TV at home with crappy speakers, or on my car’s awesome stereo with no video. Or I can experience it again at my brother’s house, which was Awesome.
Going home to visit is often interesting. My wife and I usually end up having some sort of conversation on the way back on the topic of Under What Conditions Might We Consider Moving To Roosevelt. See, since she gets along well with my brother’s wife, and I get along well with my brother, it might be fun, right? So, for example, maybe we would consider it! If I was independently wealthy, because I wouldn’t be able to get a decent job there in my profession. And if we could afford to come to the Wasatch Front every so often, because, you know, sushi. No sushi in Roosevelt – they have not heard of this yet. Oh, and the weather. And nothing to do.
But seriously, I’ve never felt comfortable about this. And I think I finally figured out why. It has to do with the gifts of the Rooseveltians, or lack thereof. They bestowed the gift of coolness upon my brother. Now he can be whomever he likes. As for me, contrariwise, well, they never bestowed this gift upon me. There is a certain persona I’m required to fill by the Rooseveltians, which I really don’t like. I realized after I left that place that I didn’t like that person, the person they convinced me I was when I lived there.
That’s why I don’t want to move back. I don’t tolerate other people telling me what or who I am anymore. I define myself.
