Please Excuse My Being Friendly
So Amber and I are waiting at Salt Lake International for our flights to Seattle, and I see this guy walk in front of me. I leaned over to Amber and said, “That guy right there looks a lot like an old college professor I had. The one right there with the curly hair. I wonder if it is him.”
I didn’t say anything though, until later on the plane, where as luck would have it his seat was right next to mine. After we both sat down, I said, “You look like someone I know.”
“I doubt it,” he said.
That’s a weird thing to say, because how could he possibly who all of the people that I know are, and what they look like? And whether I think one of them looks like him? But whatever.
“Yeah, well, I had a college professor that looked a lot like you.”
“Oh, really? What school?”
“Utah State. Do you teach there?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Are you —- —- ?”
“Yes.”
I’ve removed his name here to protect his identity, because you cannot look on USU’s website and go through the faculty that teach in the Computer Science department and figure out which one has curly hair and has a name that rhymes with a scheme for doing something revolting*, or what you might do to another person to annoy them**, or the description of someone who is really, really passionate about masonry***, or a law that prohibits people from using a naked finger to remove debris from their nose****, or that really sweet ride that Frankie (aka Summer George) got for Jerry Seinfeld*****.
So anyway, I pointed out that I know him because I took a class from him. He asked just enough to see if I’d made anything with my life, which pretty much means, did I become a software engineer in the field of artificial intelligence, which is his passion. And since I just became the kind of software engineer that actually makes money, he quickly lost interest.
At this point his face clearly said, “Go away.” So I did. I mean, I had to sit next to him for the rest of the flight. But I tried not to touch him.
Sheesh dude, it isn’t like I was trying to get your autograph or anything.
*sick plan
**flick man
***brick fan
****pick ban
*****trick van
